Funny Cowboy Sayings: Lassoing Laughs from the Wild West

If you're looking to lasso some laughs, you've come to the right place. Funny cowboy sayings have been a staple of Western culture for generations, bringing a touch of humor to the rugged frontier life. In this article, we'll rustle up some of the most hilarious and witty cowboy expressions that'll have you grinning from ear to ear.

Funny Cowboy Sayings

Cowboy humor is as vast as the open range and as colorful as a desert sunset. These witty quips and sayings capture the essence of life on the frontier, often with a hefty dose of exaggeration and self-deprecating humor. Let's dive into the world of cowboy wisdom and explore some of the funniest sayings that have stood the test of time.

General Sayings

• "Generally, you ain't learnin' nothin' when your mouth's a-jawin'."

• "It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than open it and prove it."

• "If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging."

• "Don't squat with your spurs on."

• "Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you."

• "Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco."

These sayings reflect the practical wisdom and dry humor that cowboys are known for. They offer advice on everything from when to keep quiet to how to avoid unnecessary trouble.

Sayings About Horses

Horses are an integral part of cowboy life, so it's no surprise that many funny sayings revolve around these four-legged partners:

• "If you climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride."

• "If you get thrown from a horse, you have to get up and get back on, unless you landed on a cactus; then you have to roll around and scream in pain."

• "The horse stopped with a jerk-- and the jerk fell off!"

• "There never was a horse that couldn't be rode; never was a cowboy who couldn't be throwed."

These sayings capture both the joys and pitfalls of working with horses on the range, often poking fun at the challenges of riding and the special relationship between cowboys and their equine partners.

Insults and Comebacks

Cowboys are known for their sharp wit, and their insults are no exception. Here are some colorful ways they describe folks they're not too fond of:

• "He was uglier than a new-sheared sheep."

• "He was crazy enough to eat the devil with horns on."

• "His brain cavity wouldn't make a drinkin' cup for a canary."

• "He couldn't teach a hen to cluck."

• "He's as ugly as homemade sin."

These vivid insults showcase the cowboys' talent for creative and humorous put-downs.

Wisdom and Overcoming Challenges

Many cowboy sayings offer wisdom on facing life's challenges:

• "Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway." - John Wayne

• "Life is getting up one more time than you've been knocked down."

• "When you lose, don't lose the lesson."

• "It's not the size of the cowboy in the fight, but the size of the fight in the cowboy."

These sayings reflect the cowboy ethos of resilience, courage, and practical wisdom in the face of adversity.

Cowboy Slang

Cowboys have their own unique vocabulary that adds color to their conversations. Here are some popular slang terms you might hear on the range:

• Cowpoke: Another term for a cowboy, often used interchangeably

• Buckaroo: A cowboy, particularly in the Great Basin and California regions

• Wrangler: A cowboy who takes care of horses

• Cowhand: A ranch worker, synonymous with cowboy

• Saddle Tramp: A drifter or transient cowboy

• Bronc Buster: A cowboy who specializes in breaking wild horses

Using these terms can make you sound like a true cowboy, even if you've never roped a steer in your life!

Rodeo Wisdom

The rodeo, a quintessential cowboy sport, has its own set of witty sayings:

• "Eight seconds is all you need." - Referring to the length of a bull ride

• "Cowboy up!" - Encouragement to be tough and keep going

• "It's not how many times you get bucked off, it's how many times you get back on."

• "Rodeo - the only sport where ambulances wait at the start line instead of the finish line."

These sayings capture the grit, determination, and spirit of rodeo culture, emphasizing toughness, perseverance, and embracing challenges.

Friendship and Loyalty

Cowboys value friendship and loyalty highly, as reflected in these sayings:

• "A friend is someone who rides in when the rest of the world rides out."

• "Ride for the brand." - Showing loyalty and dedication to one's employer or group

• "A cowboy's word is his bond."

• "In the cowboy world, loyalty and friendship are worth more than gold."

These sayings highlight the importance of standing by those you care about and being reliable in all circumstances.

Facing Fears and Having Courage

Cowboys are known for their bravery, and their sayings often reflect this:

• "Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway." - John Wayne

• "If you're scared of dyin', don't buy a horse."

• "Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision."

• "A true cowboy faces his fears with his boots on."

These quotes emphasize facing fears head-on and pushing forward despite challenges, embodying the cowboy spirit of courage and resilience.

Other Funny Sayings

The cowboy lexicon is filled with unique expressions that bring a smile to your face:

• "You're bout as useful as wet powder to a boom-goblin."

• "That dog won't hunt."

• "Well bless your heart."

• "That's ten pounds o'crazy in a five pound sack."

• "Butter me and call me a biscuit."

• "Back in the day when I wasn't knee-high to a grasshopper..."

These sayings demonstrate the colorful language and wit typical of cowboy culture, often using vivid imagery and exaggeration for humorous effect.

Famous Cowboy Quotes from Movies

Western movies have popularized many cowboy sayings. Here are some famous quotes that have become part of our cultural lexicon:

• "I'm your huckleberry." - Doc Holliday in Tombstone (1993)

• "When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk." - Tuco in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

• "Dying ain't much of a living, boy." - Josey Wales in The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)

• "That'll be the day." - Ethan Edwards in The Searchers (1956)

These quotes capture the grit, wit, and bravado typical of cowboy characters in classic Western films.

The Art of Cowboy Humor

Cowboy humor is characterized by its:

• Dry delivery

• Clever wordplay

• Exaggeration

• Practical wisdom

• References to ranch life and the great outdoors

These elements combine to create sayings that are not only funny but also offer a glimpse into the cowboy way of life. Whether it's a quip about the weather, an observation about human nature, or a clever insult, cowboy humor never fails to entertain.

The Impact of Cowboy Humor

Funny cowboy sayings have had a lasting impact on American culture. They've been featured in:

• Western movies and TV shows

• Country music lyrics

• Literature and poetry

• Everyday conversations

These sayings have become a part of the cultural fabric, extending far beyond the ranch and into popular consciousness. They offer a unique blend of humor, wisdom, and insight into the cowboy way of life.

Keeping the Tradition Alive

While the days of the Wild West may be long gone, the tradition of cowboy humor lives on. Modern cowboys and cowgirls continue to create new sayings that reflect contemporary life while maintaining the spirit of classic cowboy wit. Social media platforms and country music keep these sayings in circulation, introducing new generations to the charm of cowboy humor.

Conclusion

Funny cowboy sayings are more than just clever turns of phrase – they're a window into a unique way of life that values hard work, resilience, and a good sense of humor. From witty observations about life on the range to pearls of wisdom about facing challenges, these sayings continue to captivate and entertain us.

Whether you're a city slicker or a seasoned rancher, there's something to appreciate in the colorful language of the cowboy. So the next time life throws you a curveball, remember to "cowboy up" and face it head-on. And if all else fails, just remember: "It's not how many times you get bucked off, it's how many times you get back on."

So saddle up, partner, and keep these funny cowboy sayings in your saddlebag. They might just come in handy when you need a laugh or a bit of homespun wisdom. After all, in the words of an old cowboy saying, "Life is short. Ride hard and fast!"

Richard Sutherland

RichardSutherland@bitsnspurs.org

Richard is a western lifestyle author for Bits N' Spurs, the weekly newsletter that keeps pace with today's rodeo. His articles are featured on dozens of rodeo and Western related websites and provide a window to the world of cowboy culture.